I dont know what much to say i just feel alone i guess... my head is killign me and i want to quit my job so bad... but i dont want to have to explain to future empoyers why i quit, besides the extra moneys.
I just dont feel like any one knows how i feel, i dont know what to say to people sometimes and how to act. I ususally talk to someone and wonder what to say, wonder if its the wrong thing or what....
Im all confused and frusterated.... i just feel like punching something someone maybe.
I am sick of all the drama at school and cant stand it at home. I knwo most people have an exuse for their unhappyness but i just dont.

On the ride home today from work i was thinking about what my grandma said a day or two before she died... she said "I have done every thing i want to do"... i was thinking i dont want to die unhappy i want people to say she lived a good life she done so many things... whatever.
I was thinking about people who hitch hike all over the place and do stuff earn money w/e... and what if i was to do that? live a tottaly care free life?...
I know i have hopes and dream... i want a husband and kids .. nice house, pets. I want to be wealthy (doesnt every one), i want a job i enjoy a job that my get me noticed. Something to make me feel important in this world.

I want to finish school all that but its just like whats the point?... you know?.... i guess apperantly i have been told you have to be 18 to drop out of school anyway but still i may acually feel a little happyier if i didnt have to waste my life at that shit hole!

Any ways i guess i am being really negative... i know i need an education to go places and all so i just have to keep on trucking.
I guess thats all for now...

-Kim
Please make comments.... Here is my email....Voiceout_666@hotmail.com 

I havent wrote in so long i am almost ashamed to see...... there has just been so much going on... way to much... i have even lost touch with some of my closest friends on blog drive. There is way to much going on ... I dont even know where to start i dont know what to say i feel as tho i dont want to write and do the things i so enjoyed before...
Well i guess i could start off by saying what i have been doing latly... i got guitar lessons for my 16th birthday ... yea 16...(Not as exciting as it sounds).. Im really loving guitar now and my teacher is really cool. Mostly this supper just visiting family and having family visit me later this week we are going to Toronto to pick up family flying in. I dont really have much to say...
Something that is really othering me is one of my friends (well used to be friend) is all into drugs now and every thing and says she is really depressed thats why she does it and every day soemthing else really dramatic happens in her life. I mean she was mad at her friend when they started doing drugs and now she has taken that role in which her friend did. It just makes me so mad that she can talk about how bad drugs are and shit and then turn around and do them... like if your not even going to listin to what you say yourself dont say any thing about it.
I dont know what else to write about so instead of just rambling on i think im going to get going...I hope evrey one is having a good summer... its going to be over soon.

Please make a comment if you read this so i know if any one does...
Thanks alot keep it real Kim.

First off i want to start by saying i dont know how many entrys i can write any more.... as you can see i am not to updated with my blog... but i would much rather show you my opinion that repeat it 500 times.... but ne how i just wanted to say for the summer i will nothave the internet only ocasionaly i will be on.

Ok i will start off my peice by saying this why does it seem like i am the only person who can see what is really going on in the world . In my eyes its twisted, turned around, every one thinks you have to be someone that your really not people are turning others into robots. It makes me sick wh y do i think the way i do. I look at people and try to figure out what is so important about their life why do they think they are better then every one else, why dont they care? Why do they hurt feelings of others and laugh in their face. Who acually cares about their friends in need and not only their friends the human race as a whole. Thats what i would like to know. i want to know qhat is going on in this world that i dont know about. That seems so important to every one else that they dont care about the next person. Every day i wonder what would happen if people didnt care what others thought of them if they carryed out a style that they called there own. If they thought for themselfs and didnt wait for others to make choices for them. What would life be like then? I wonder if life was like that would we have more peace?
Its funny i think alot about what would happen if every obe did think for themselfs if we would have less war, more compromising, higher self-esteam level. Just looking at my school if this was to happen alot more peopple would be happyer. I know people who get made fun ok because of things that dont even matter such as the familys finanances, i mean they are not poor but they dont have alot of money. But every one makes fun of theses people andits not their fault and dont get me wrong people like thiswho have familys with low income or whatever it may  be well these people are really nice they are very friendly people. There is nothing wrong with them but the fact that they may be different then other people... not the "cool type". There not "popular". Who cares anymore like what does it mean to be popular any way? The fact that you are put into a group and you have freinds that dont even care about you no matter how talanted, kind, considerate you may be how caring, how hurt you may be?
For me the ideal person is to be me, and thats all i can be. Some people dont see that being you means to think for yourself to start a style get interested in your own hobbies even if your friends dont like it and find Mr. or Mrs. right.(By that i dont mean the pitty "i love you" but you really dont you just want to be able to say you went out with someone). For me finding that person is not important right now but when i find love. i want to fall in lovve not alot of the stuff that goes on and be judged by my freinds. No matter what they think of him.
In closing i just feel that i just feel that it is more important to try and be you and not someone you wish you could be. Because if you do that you will waste your life planing out someone elses dream or life... or whatever..... live your life the way you want to not the way you "think" it should be.

Ok what has been upsetting me latly is the fact that people dont except what is inside... what you trully are about .. because alot of the time what we feel on the inside is very differently they you look on the out side ... What bugs me with guys not only do they insist in calling tou "hott" all the time they also only care is you have BIG boobs and a tight ass what ever the hell that might be..... not only do i get pissed when i am sitting is class and some guy says something like this girl was so hott and goes on like that i get insulted.... you cant just identify a girl as hott thats insulting not like half of the population of girls would care they only care that they can be idetified as a name of the such .... but i dont feel it is right... and i am sick of listining to it.... Then the girls without the popularity and "the" ass should i say or "the" boobs no one wants any thing to do with them and its not only girls either the guys have to suffer to its every one they get put down just because of what they look like but yet the people judging are over looking what really is on the inside ..... what they really are about what really is inside.......WHAT REALLY IS INSIDE! ......i cant stress it enough... like i never really got to know a person before i judged them like.. say theres the preps theres the punks theres the freaks like you never really get to know there name there all just in a group like i want to get to know more people but i fear that if i think this of them what do they think of me? What do they put me under? Short, shy, Freaky girl i dunno like what am i? Why do we all have to be in a "group" persay anyway?
The it thing to do is be like Shania Twain and the Jackson dude and get so many things done to you that you dont even know if you are you any more.... The ideal person to look for women .. she wears a size 0 pant if that with a size D cup (if you get my drift) .... the ideal women is hardly seen .. you seen the women who try to look ideal ... oh they try so hard ... just to look ideal....... no one has a sence of ......self..... know one knows how to be them and not someone else .... every one looks like every one else .......*caugh* .... um why ... like why would you want to look like every one else? Why would you want to look the same as the last ass hole..... sorry this is getting me a little upset to talk about ... it is upseting like good god .... i drew this pic today its not the best but drawing it i kept thinking about the ideal person and i drew this totally deformed girl and now i am thinking about writing a poem as soon as i do i will be sure to post it up here .... any ways back to the ideal person.... the guys are not getting off to good either  they have to grow uo looking at gi-jo crap .... This is what children have to look up to this is the ideal person .... growing up this is what they call there hero .... hmmmm..... to think our hero being a movie star? Or whatever we idol..... to think we dont think our heros are our parnets our older brothers or sisters any one who makes a big inpact defference in our life that is good and the socitys choice is this? What has our world resorted to?

Our world has gone to the dogs ...... every thing that happens in this world it is sick .... it would take forever to name the bad infested gross things on this earth and then the good things .... well what the hell is good enough that you would broad cast it over the T.v, Radio etc....... ya sure LOVE ... ya love is great love is good but the only people who get to broad cast there love and get money for it is the movie star rich people or hollywood related retards......and plus when it comes down to "love" any way what really is love.... sorry getting off topic...... Any who basiclly i look at things as every thing is falling apart .... the world peice by peice... every one thinks its like a joke or something its all about fame and money OH MONEY!!!! yes thats all the world cares about.... they dont care that travelling can spread all kinda of stuff.... driving there car half way across the world is hurting our future world (shall i call it)... and lighting up a "smoke" kills the people!! Like wtf..... Every thing we do is killing every thing we live for.....  
No people try to help our inviroment help our people .... and quit because no one else is doing the same because no one cares like they do so there is no point..... blah blah blah.... there is a point and people give up like this all the time ... including me.... i was trying to write an article in my local newspaper and it tottale stressed me out the thoughts of every thing people could be doing to help our world and there not i swear it drove me crazy stressing me out for weeks after i put the project down.... and this is just one example of giving up hope towards our world towards every thing if i would have worked a little harder at my project i would not have only put out my point but felt good about it.... felt good about my self for acomplishing something that i really wanted to to .......
These days people dont even care what time of day it is as long as they have someone to dawn on .... you know you hear about every thing that went on years ago.... the indians.... the Native Amaricans fighting for life.......... fighting for life!!! Then the war and all that stuff...... these people were heros compaired to the losers man calls heros now adays ..... You are such a hero you saved that dog ... you are such a hero blah blah blah......give it a break .. the real heros are busting there ass trying to peace keep or w/e there trying to save us! There trying to save us....
Then we got the famous folk ..... like the ones who would pay over 1 million $ for a fliping house a fliping house!!! i would settle for a 200,000 dollar house and even then i would feel rich! See people dont understand any more how important it is to give and not get and people dont understand how important it is to protect our world.......

Well i will end on that note and i hope that my point gets accross ...... feel free to write some comments.

-Kim.......Peace

I am going to the movies with a couple of my best friends and my sister..... I am so exited i have been looking forward to it for a couple weeks and i am so glad..... woohoo soooo glad.....

My 2 best friends are guys and that makes all out other friends jealous because when they are in a relationship with a guy it is more then just friends and the intimadates them to think that me and my sister can have friends without it being anything more...
Its kinda funny... ya ne wyas thats kinda the "highlight" of my march break going to the movies with my 2 buddys hehehehehe lol.... I was supose to go to my aunt and uncles but i havent been feeling to great so i missed out on going .... that kinda sucks.... ya so i promissed my friends that i would go to the movies no matter what and i will! ....
Oh ya today i had to getting 2 fillings in..... thats kinda embarrassing to say but ... ya i guess thats just a leason keep your teeth really clean... another really bad part about it is that i have braces and that is kinda i dunno.....
Ya but when i got the fillings i told the dude i didnt want freezing yerp it really hurt my second one worse but i am afraid on the needle in my mouth .... i dunno its not so bad in my arm it feels kinda cool if i am getting medicine or something but in my mouth it scares me i dunno why... any who after he was like totally impressed and all cuze i didnt even twitch through the whole thing hahas im so proud lol.... ya i dunno its a thing with me pain... like metally i cant handle pain but physically it doesnt bother me to the point where i am tottaly freaking out.....
Um i dunno what else is new with me...... um i cant really say much im not a very interesting person ... um one thing im trying to teach myself Amazing Grace on my key board because that was one of the somes played at my grandmothers funeral and for some reason it is relaxing to play .... it really makes me like zone out when i play same when i write its as if i am the only one there and i feel at ease ..... at peace with myself ...away it feels good it feels alone it feels good as if unknown ... haha just a little ryme there for ya...
Well i dont know what else to write about so i think i am going to save this b4 something happens and i screw something up...
.......Peace
-Kim

 

I didnt wirte it but it was the one on the card thingy at my gradmothers funeral..

   You can shed tears that she is gone,
Or you can smile because she has lived,

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all she has left,

  Your heart can be empty because you cant see her,